The Raw Exposé: That's My B**** - Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns' Custody Battle Over The Big Red Kryptonite Belt (3-5-2018)

By: Keila Cash

Date: 3-5-2018

Location: BMO Harris Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Let’s Get Physical: Welcome to the Ass Whooping Soup De Jour Starring Ronda Rousey and Stephanie McMahon

Tonight’s Blog is Brought To You by the Little B: Bitching Is Fundamental.

·        After weeks of speculation, Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey will face off against Triple H and Stephanie McMahon in a Mixed Tag Team Match at WrestleMania. Raw kicked off with Angle calling out Triple H for sucker punching him at the end of last week’s show. McMahon came out to talk Angle down by using the family card in order to play on his sympathies.

·        Stephanie claimed that Angle’s decorated career wasn’t paying the bills and needed to keep his job as General Manager in order to pay alimony to his first wife. The crowd booed at her dig as Rousey made her way down to the ring.

·        Ronda stood up for Kurt while calling her new bosses a couple of schoolyard bullies. Stephanie denied the allegation by reminding Ronda that her dream of wrestling at Mania is about to come true. She could pick any opponent as long as they were on the active roster and not a current champion.

·        Ronda picked Stephanie as the crowd started up a loud “Yes!” chant. Triple H’s music hit as he claimed that the match couldn’t happen because Steph was an executive. Angle noted that she had two contracts that laid her out her duties as Commissioner and WWE Superstar. Therefore, the match was on for WM.

·        Hunter had similar language in his contracts which meant that his dance card was open for WM as well. Kurt volunteered to team up with Ronda to take on HHH and Steph as the crowd roared in approval.

·        Steph tried to slap Kurt, but Ronda grabbed her arm and was about to break it in half until Hunter intervened.

·        Steph and Hunter were about to leave the ring, but HHH changed his mind and went after Angle. Stephanie attacked Ronda from behind, but she ran for the hills when Ronda got up.

·        HHH tried to Pedigree Kurt, but Kurt put him in the ankle lock instead. Hunter was flopping in the ring like a fish until Stephanie pulled him out of the ring.

·        WWE officials checked on Triple H which allowed Ronda to grab Stephanie by the hair and yank her back in the ring. Ronda laid out Steph with the Samoan Drop as the opening segment came to an end with Angle and Rousey standing tall on the main stage while Triple H and Stephanie were trying to gather their bearings in the ring.

·        This was a hot way to start the show. Ronda Rousey was very over with the crowd as they loved everything she said and did. This was her smoothest performance so far as she embraced the role of being a badass with a heart of gold.

·        Kurt Angle reclaiming his manhood is the cherry on top as he finally stood to Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. It was a long time coming which should lead to some interesting television over the next few weeks because he’s no longer afraid to speak his mind. Most importantly, Stephanie was put on her ass on a show not called WrestleMania for the first time in YEARS! It’s a miracle!

·        Asuka defeated Nia Jax when she made Jax tap out to the armbar in a solid match. Jax dominated the action for the most part, but Asuka managed to wear her down by putting her in the armbar before transitioning to the Triangle Choke. Jax tried to break the hold by power slamming Asuka to the mat, but Asuka held on for dear life. Jax tried a second time, but it was to no avail as well.

·        She tried to break the hold by slamming Asuka against the turnbuckle, but the Empress of Tomorrow wouldn’t let go which led to the tap out finish moments later.

·        Backstage, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James shared a pensive glance as they realized that Asuka was coming for Bliss’ Raw Women’s Championship at WrestleMania. Or is she? Hmm…

·        Sheamus and Cesaro defeated The Revival when Cesaro pinned Scott Dawson with the Neutralizer in a solid match. The crowd heat was tepid because both teams were heels which watered down the bout from an emotional standpoint. The Revival losing the match means that they will not face The Bar for the Raw Tag Team Titles at WrestleMania next month. That sucks, but I am guessing that WWE has a bigger tag team match in mind for Sheamus and Cesaro.

·        John Cena came out to cut a promo he knew wouldn’t be able to say on SmackDown Live because Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and AJ Styles would interrupt him. Therefore, Cena asked Kurt Angle to give him the platform to speak his mind because this would probably be the last time fans would see him on Raw after he breaks Ric Flair’s record by becoming a 17-time World Champion at Fastlane.

·        Cena noted that Styles might feel like his WrestleMania hopes and dreams will be dashed when he loses the WWE Title on Sunday. However, The Phenomenal One can still have his Mania moment by invoking his rematch clause and making the WWE Title match a Triple Threat featuring Cena, Styles, and Nakamura.

·        In a strange twist, Goldust made his way down to the ring to spout some Hollywood cinema mumbo jumbo that dragged on forever before vowing to ruin Cena’s path to WrestleMania. Before Cena could respond, Goldust sucker punched him which led to a match which took place after the commercial break.

·        John Cena defeated Goldust with the AA in a serviceable match. Goldust dominated the action for the most despite the outcome being evitable.

·        The premise of the match was stupid and the fans didn’t care until the finish. Goldust usually cuts good promos, but the material he was given was weak and made no sense. There was no gravitas to what he was saying which made the segment and subsequent bout a waste of time which shouldn’t be the case heading into the heart of WrestleMania season.

·        Bayley defeated Mandy Rose with the Gator Roll in a decent match, but she didn’t get a chance to celebrate the win when Rose and Sonya Deville attacked her in the ring. Sasha Banks made the save, but it wasn’t enough to patch things up between the two besties. When Bayley turns down a HUG, hell has officially frozen over.

·        Alexa Bliss channeling her inner Oprah backfired when she tried to give a pep talk to Nia Jax. I will give Jax credit for being able to cry on command. It’s not an easy thing to do unless your name is The Big Show.

·        Braun Strowman defeated Elias when he dropped a piano on top of The Drifter for the win. This was hopefully the first and last Symphony of Destruction match because it was pretty uneventful until Strowman smashed the upright bass over Elias’ back which was a nice callback to what happened a few weeks ago when Strowman channeled his inner Yo-Yo Ma.

·        Outside of that, this was your usual run-of-the-mill garbage match with a lot of smoke and mirrors to protect both men. It wasn’t bad, but it left a lot to be desired in terms of execution.

·        Bray Wyatt defeated Rhyno with Sister Abigail in quick and decisive fashion.

·        The Hardy Compound! The Ultimate Deletion! It’s the only way to redeem the shit fest that is the Matt Hardy-Bray Wyatt feud. Will there be cameos from Seňor Benjamin, Queen Rebecca, King Maxel, Brother Nero, and Vanguard 1? Most importantly, will Jeremey Borash have a hand in the production because he was an integral part of House Hardy over the past couple of years? If WWE keeps their involvement to a minimum, this could be great.

·        The 3^rd annual Mizzie Awards took place as The Miz handed out trophies to Seth Rollins and Finn Bàlor for patting themselves on the back while Kurt Angle won the award for Worst Decision Maker. The segment was dragging until Rollins and Bàlor interrupted the proceedings. Miz shaded both men for the inadequacies when it comes to winning big matches as of late. Balor received the brunt of Miz’s tirade as the Intercontinental Champion called him out for not being over and using the Too Sweet hand gesture that doesn’t belong to him.

·        Miz challenged Rollins and Bàlor to face him and The Miztourage in a 2-on-3 Handicap Match which took place after the commercial break.

·        Seth Rollins and Finn Bàlor defeated The Miz and The Miztourage when Rollins nailed Miz with the Curbstomp for the win. Rollins and Bàlor had a friendly game of one-upmanship as they traded aggressive tags down the stretch which set up the aforementioned finish.

·        Kurt Angle appeared on the main stage and announced that Miz will defend the IC Title against Rollins and Bàlor in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania. Miz is the annoying pest stuck in the middle of a much more compelling rivalry between Rollins and Bàlor heading into Mania. He’s the dreaded third wheel in his own championship match. What a shame…

·        Paul Heyman closed the show by cutting an excellent promo about why Brock Lesnar isn’t like everyone else. Heyman mentioned that Roman Reigns became the second man to defeat The Undertaker at WrestleMania last year. No one complained that was the only time Undertaker wrestled in 2017. No one called Taker a sellout or a bitch for having such an easy work schedule. If anyone said otherwise, it would be a bunch of bullshit.

·        Heyman wanted Reigns to understand that The Universal Title was Lesnar’s bitch. She would stay on his shoulder until someone put The Beast down for good. He couldn’t be a shell of himself when it happened. Lesnar had to go down swinging on his own two feet in order for anyone to claim what was his.

·        Reigns needed to know that the title is something that goes beyond family. It will consume his very essence because he needs the belt in order to survive. The man and the championship are connected as if they are one. It symbolizes greatness. It means that you are the best in the world. You are untouchable. Unstoppable. Simply put, winning the richest prize in professional wrestling makes you better than everyone else.

·        If Reigns is willing to sell his soul in order to get the job done, Heyman was more than willing to bring Lesnar to Detroit next week so The Big Dog could shoot on The Beast.

·        Reigns made his way down to the ring and called Lesnar a bitch for making Heyman do his dirty work. That wouldn’t be the case next week because Reigns wanted Lesnar dressed for a fight as Raw went off the air with Reigns standing tall in the ring.

·        This was a great way to end the show. Paul Heyman was on fire as he tried to milk the Lesnar-Reigns feud for all its worth. Heyman was at his best as he spoke the truth while sneaking in some colorful language for good measure. Reigns held his own, but he’s not in Heyman’s league when it comes to throwing shade while spitting facts at the same time. Hopefully, Reigns gets to cut loose when he goes face-to-face with Lesnar next week. For real this time…

·        Overall, I thought tonight’s episode of Raw was a two-segment show that got the job done in terms of WrestleMania hype while the middle portion of the broadcast was undercooked with so-so matches and a bizarre John Cena-Goldust segment that boggled my mind to no end.

·        Every show is not going to be a home run, but the second and third hour was a chore to get through until the main event segment. Several secondary feuds are starting to take shape which should bolster the quality of the program over the next few weeks.

·        Nia Jax turning babyface thanks to a condescending Alexa Bliss will do Jax a world of good because the fans want to cheer for her. She’s a badass who can get over by using her brute force in order to assert her dominance over the women’s division. As long as Asuka is no longer on the receiving end of the ass whopping, it’s all good.

·        Sasha Banks and Bayley’s friendship is still stuck in purgatory as they continue to give each other the cold shoulder. Who’s turning on who? We shall find out soon enough.

·        Meanwhile, the world premiere of The Ultimate Deletion is upon us. It should be a cinematic masterpiece of epic proportions if Matt Hardy has creative autonomy over his baby. If not, this could be an absolute disaster which might cause The Woken Universe to fall apart at the seams.

·        With these storylines bubbling beneath the surface, the next few weeks of televisions have the potential to be very good if everything goes according to plan. Here’s hoping next week’s show in Detroit is the first of four slam dunks on the Road to WrestleMania. Fingers crossed!

On that note, this wraps up another edition of The Raw Exposé. I hope you enjoyed it and I will be back tomorrow night with a brand new installment of The SmackDown Files. See you later, boys and girls! 

The Raw Exposé: Ghosting The Night Away - A Brock Lesnar Story (2-26-2018)

By: Keila Cash

Date: 2/26/2018

Location: Honda Center in Anaheim, California

Personal Mea Culpa: There was no SmackDown Files last week due to me being under the weather. I am doing better as the Cold 2.0 has been DELETED!

What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face: Slap! Stephanie McMahon just dug her own grave when she slapped the baddest woman on the planet. We’re going to pray for her…

·        Raw kicked off with Alexa Bliss patting herself on the back after winning the first-ever Women’s Elimination Chamber match last night. Bliss thanked Mickie James for having her back despite their differences in the past. Bliss proceeded to run down her Chamber opponents before proclaiming that she was going to WrestleMania. She vowed to end Asuka’s streak and was thrilled that Nia Jax left the Empress of Tomorrow in dire straits after she rammed her through the barricade last night.

·        Asuka came out to confront Bliss which led to Nia Jax coming out moments later. Asuka attacked Bliss and James first, but Jax eventually laid her out. Jax hoisted Asuka up, but she countered with an armbar. James and Bliss broke things up as the triple beat down ensued until Bayley and Sasha Banks made the save.

·        Their efforts were quickly squashed when Jax nailed Bayley and Sasha with a double clothesline. Asuka tried to attack Jax with a series of strikes, but Bliss laid her out with a right hand as the opening segment came to an end.

·        This was a good way to start the show. Alexa Bliss is great on the mic when she has something meaningful to say. Bliss was given great material to work with which complimented her narcissistic character to a tee. It was a little surprising to see James aligned with Bliss, but it plays into their frenemies storyline which has been unfolding over the last couple of weeks.

·        Bayley, Sasha Banks, and Asuka defeated Mickie James, Nia Jax, and Alexa Bliss when Asuka made James tap out to the armbar. The six-woman tag team match was good, but the last three minutes were especially strong in terms of storytelling. Banks tried to make the hot tag to Bayley, but Bayley jumped off the ring apron and stared daggers at her so-called best friend. Sasha looked hurt, but she shouldn’t be surprised after putting the screws to Bayley at the last two PPVs.

·        Asuka eventually got the hot tag and cleaned house as she delivered a series of vicious strikes to James. Jax tried to get involved but, Asuka laid her out with the hip attack which set up the tap out finish moments later. All in all, this was a nice way to forward several storylines at once while putting the heat back on Asuka after Jax’s attack last night.

·        Meanwhile, Bayley coming to Asuka’s rescue but not Sasha’s was emphasized nicely by the announcers as they sold the rift between the besties. After a year, it appears that Sasha vs. Bayley is a go at WrestleMania. It should be great based on their storied history in the ring.

·        John Cena’s path to WrestleMania gets murkier by the day after his perplexing promo. Cena admitted that he failed to punch his ticket to Mania by failing to win at the Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. He could wallow in his self-pity or pick himself up and find another route to the biggest show of the year.

·        Therefore, Cena decided to do something unconventional by challenging The Undertaker to a match at WM. The crowd popped huge for the announcement as Cena explained that both men have been a part of 39 Manias during their respective careers, but they’ve never wrestled against each other at the grandest stage of them all.

·        However, Cena stated that it’s impossible for the match to take place which pissed the crowd off to no end. Since he can’t face Taker, Cena is taking his talents to SmackDown Live to see if he can earn a spot on the Mania card as the segment came to an end.

·        I think WWE is playing a game of chicken when it comes to prolonging the inevitable announcement of John Cena vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Cena going to SD Live has been expected for some time because he’s scheduled to appear at the Fastlane PPV in a couple of weeks. I fully expect Taker to accept Cena’s challenge which should get the ball rolling on their Mania match.

·        Cena hemming and hawing about not having a path to the biggest show of the year is comical. The fans booed his pity party speech until he challenged The Dead Man. This appears to a match the people want to see despite Taker’s disappointing string of WM matches since his shocking loss to Brock Lesnar at WM XXX in 2014. Here’s hoping The Phenom is capable of having one more show-stealing match against Cena because he deserves to end his career on the highest of notes.

·        Bray Wyatt destroyed Heath Slater and Rhyno before challenging Matt Hardy to another match. Zzz…I am so done with Wyatt that I can’t find a reason to get mad anymore. He shall be forever known as the Killer of Feuds. No shade, just facts.

·        Seth Rollins defeated The Miz with a Frogsplash in a good match. Miz was more than halfway across the ring, but Rollins still managed to hit his target as Michael Cole sold the moment beautifully on commentary. The crowd was hot for everything Rollins did which pushed the match quality over the top.

·        Prior to the match, The Miz cut a fiery promo about Kurt Angle yanking his chain when it comes to his Intercontinental Championship match at WrestleMania. Angle informed Miz that he might find out who his Mania opponent is later tonight. Rollins’ win suggests that he’s earned a shot at the IC Title at WM. Before that idea could percolate further, Finn Bàlor came out to rain on Rollins’ parade. Hmm…

·        After the first match was thrown out due to interference from The Miztourage, the second time was the charm for Finn Bàlor when he defeated The Miz with the Coup De Grace in a solid match. It appears that Bàlor has also punched his ticket to WrestleMania, but Rollins criticized him for picking the bones he left behind. I smell a Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Title at Mania. Just a hunch. I think…

·        The face-to-face confrontation between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns never took place as Lesnar left the show 30 minutes before their segment was scheduled to take place. Supposedly… Reigns proceeded to read Lesnar for filth by stating that he always showed up to live events no matter how big or small the crowd was. It didn’t matter what city WWE was in, he always kept his word. Reigns put over the locker room for busting their asses night in and night out while Lesnar was a self-titled piece of crap who showed up on his own time.

·        Reigns didn’t respect Lesnar because he wasn’t bred the wrestling business. He capped things off by calling The Beast a bitch before heading backstage to get chewed out by the Powers That Be. Allegedly…

·        This was Reigns’ best promo of his career. He spoke with passion and conviction as he read Lesnar for 40 days and 40 nights. It’s hard to determine if The Beast went ghost, but shit just got real in a hurry.

·        Sheamus and Ceasaro defeated Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews in a 2-out-3 Falls match when Sheamus nailed O’Neil with the Brogue Kick to score the first fall within seconds. The second fall was a bit more competitive as Crews tried his best to keep his team alive, but it was to no avail as The Bar laid him out with the White Noise/Diving Neckbreaker combination for the win. The outcome was never in doubt, but the work rate was good for the most part.

·        Braun Strowman defeated Elias via disqualification when The Drifter sprayed a fire extinguisher in Strowman’s face. With Strowman temporarily blinded, Elias slammed him into the ring post before hitting him in the midsection with the extinguisher. Strowman fought back and nailed Elias with a right hand which sent him out of the ring.

·        Elias tried to run backstage, but Strowman caught him in mid-stride. Strowman attempted to powerslam The Drifter through the announce table, but he managed to escape.

·        Elias scampered backstage with Strowman not far behind. The chase was short-lived as a limo rolled up. Hmm…

·        Elias vs. Strowman was fine, but it was slotted in the 10:30 P.M. Lull Period of Death which did both men no favors.

·        The final segment of Raw featured Triple H and Stephanie McMahon trying to clear the air with Ronda Rousey after Kurt Angle dropped the dime on them last night. McMahon stated that Rousey was no longer in UFC and things worked differently in WWE when it came to respecting her superiors. Stephanie noted that Angle answers to her which means that Rousey ultimately answers to her as well. Steph claimed that Angle was suffering from Double Pneumonia which made him say crazy things last night. Therefore, she wanted to make amends and get everyone on the same page heading into WrestleMania season.

·        Rousey marched down to the ring to kill HHH and Steph on sight, but Angle managed to calm her down. Angle acted like a sad puppy as he told Rousey that he needed to keep his job. He claimed that everything he said last night was a lie. His “double pneumonia” made him delirious and apologized for his actions.

·        Rousey took Angle at his word, but she wanted Steph to apologize for the slap or she was going to rip her arm from her socket. Stephanie offered a mea culpa, but Triple H had the last unspoken word when he punched Angle in the face as Raw went off the air with Angle holding his jaw while Stephanie and Hunter headed backstage.

·        The show should’ve ended on a more explosive note, but Stephanie McMahon wasn’t dressed to fight based on her wardrobe choice. Ronda Rousey was much better on the mic tonight as she spoke with confidence while mean-mugging her ass off. She has a presence about her that stands out which will hush down any boo birds who try to throw her off mentally.

·        It appears that Angle and Rousey will team up to face Triple H and Stephanie in a Mixed Tag Team Match at WrestleMania. WWE has five weeks to milk this feud for all its worth. Here’s hoping they get the job done while getting over their newest acquisition at the same time. Fingers crossed!

·        Overall, I thought tonight’s episode of Raw was decent at best. The first two hours were very good, but the third hour hit a lull before the main event segment. That tends to be the case most weeks even though the show has been better from a wire to wire standpoint as of late.

·        WWE is slowly piecing together the WrestleMania card. The Universal Championship match between Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar is set in stone. Everything else is in limbo at the moment. The Fastlane PPV should provide more answers in a couple of weeks because I have a feeling that Asuka is going to challenge Charlotte for the SmackDown Women’s Title after The Queen defeats Ruby Riott.

·        Meanwhile, a desperate John Cena is trying to find a path to New Orleans. His Undertaker challenge was a swerve, but I still expect the match to happen. Cena being a Debbie Downer about the whole situation is unintentionally hilarious. The man has main evented WrestleMania FIVE times and been a part of WrestleMania 20-33 over the past FOURTEEN years. Hell, a rotator cuff injury didn’t prevent him from being part of WM 32 a couple of years ago. I’m sure the Wrestling Gods are on Cena’s side which should help everyone sleep easier at night. *Insert Sarcasm Here*

·        WWE has already announced a key match for next week’s show. Asuka will face Nia Jax in a rematch from the Elimination Chamber PPV. Asuka’s undefeated streak should remain intact, but I hope she is booked like a badass who doesn’t get beat up by Jax after she wins. If anything, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James should cost Jax the match which should set up the Raw Women’s Championship bout at WM minus Asuka.  

·        Most importantly, what is the status of Brock Lesnar? Did he walk out during a live broadcast or is this a straight up work to make Roman Reigns a beloved hero? WWE has gone down this rabbit hole too many times over the past four years. Is the fifth time the charm? We shall find out soon enough. In the meantime, the internet streets will be talking about Reigns’ blistering promo all week. To quote Eric Bischoff, “Controversy Creates Cash.”

On that note, this wraps up another edition of The Raw Exposé. I hope you enjoyed it and I will be back tomorrow night with a brand new installment of The SmackDown Files. See you later, boys and girls!